Filthy, filthy promotions!

Passive Voice has a great rant today inspired by a pretty silly post bewailing how indie writers are devaluing their work with the 99-cent price point and freebies and giveaways in exchange for a reader promoting the book in some way.

The original post is very over-the-top and contains the hilarious line, "Traditionally published authors aren’t stooping to these tactics." (You know, like sock-puppet reviews and selling cheap books.) And PG comes back in a way I think is awesome, pointing out that if you actually value literature and reading, then the rise of indie publishing should make you very happy.

The funny thing is, the original post was written by a bestselling author who works as a consultant for other indie authors. And the other day I met a bestselling author who works as a consultant for other indie authors who has embraced things like the 99-cent price point and giveaways with equal if not greater stridency. And of course I can think of two authors right off the top of my head who credit their success in large part to the savvy use of freebies. (So, you know, there's a lesson about blindly following "experts" here.)

But the thing that really struck me about the original post was the writer's clear discomfort with the concept of promotions.

Which is odd, right? I mean, no one writes articles in Retailing Today that say, "For God's sake, DON'T PUT YOUR STUFF ON SALE!!! NO FREEBIES!!! DON'T OFFER YOUR CUSTOMERS A CHANCE AT A GIFT CARD IN EXCHANGE FOR LIKING YOU ON FACEBOOK!!! YOU'RE DEVALUING YOUR BRAND!!!!"

Sure, a company can devalue a retail brand via promotions, but it has to be a VERY high-end brand for that to happen (or the promotions have to be so terribly mismanaged that they make people feel like they're being ripped off). To be vulnerable, the brand also has to thrive on recognizability--if I have an Hermès bag, you know I paid a freaking arm and a leg for it. That is a major reason why people buy Hermès bags. Hermès does not put its bags on sale.

I don't know how an author can possibly create that kind of brand. If I'm reading Stephen King on my Kindle, how the hell are you supposed to know? If I'm reading Stephen King in a hardback, it's not like you're going to look at that and say, "Ooooh, that's a Stephen King book! Gosh, I wish I could afford one of those!" You're not going to sneer if I got it on sale or--shudder--at an outlet. That is completely irrelevant to your perception of the book's worth. (It's true that books can be status objects, but they are supposed to be indicators of internal worth--I read poetry because I am such a sensitive soul, not because I'm mad flossing.)

All that is why book consumers are somewhat insensitive to price--for most readers, avoiding a bad book is more important than saving a couple of bucks.

As a result, if your book lacks reviews and recommendations, dropping the price probably won't help much. But it's also not going to hurt your brand--people might look at a dodgy 99-cent/free book, think "Looks dodgy" and avoid it. But they're not going to associate that with your name and refuse to buy all your books forever because six months ago one of your titles was 99 cents or free. (I know I've spoken out against always having books at 99 cents, but that's because I think it causes the writer to devalue the financial worth of their business, not because I think it causes the reader to devalue the literary worth of the books.)

If someone likes your stuff, or is curious about you because other people like your stuff, or otherwise thinks your book might be worth reading, doing a promotion can tip them over into buying. Which is a good thing.

Believe it or not, some people will argue that getting more buyers through promotions is not a good thing. These are usually big believers in finding your 1,000 True Fans, who apparently will give you all their money and will spend all their time promoting you and will carve your name on their foreheads with a screwdriver and will hide in your bushes chanting your book titles until the police come and haul them away.

I think it's fine to focus your attention on cultivating (non-scary) fans (who respect boundaries)! That's great! Read The Gift of Fear while you're at it!

But in addition to your True Fans, there are other audiences out there you can sell to. I wouldn't spend big hunks of my time chasing bargain-hunters, because your margins are going to be lower with them, but if someone will only buy your book if it is 99 cents, aren't you better off getting that 99 cents from them than getting nothing at all? For every tech company like Apple or Intel that make money catering to True Fans who will pay a ton of money for the latest thing, there are a dozen companies that make money catering to the more price-sensitive people in the mass market. And unlike a tech company, you can 1. tap into both markets, and 2. convert the tightwads into True Fans--there are very few people out there who won't pay more for a book they know they're going to like.

The magic of limits

Since this week has been a lost cause (I slept last night--huzzah!--but had too much scheduled to do today for writing), I've been reading a book called Lord Darcy by Randall Garrett. Lord Darcy is actually an omnibus volume containing Garrett's various stories about a guy named--you guessed it--Lord Darcy.

It was very entertaining to me as a reader, but it was also really interesting to me as a writer, because the Lord Darcy stories are probably the only truly successful marriage of the mystery genre and the science fiction/fantasy genre that I've ever read.

The problem with most other attempts at amalgamating those two genres is that mystery novels are basically puzzles--here's a dead body, let's figure out how it got there. Puzzles work because of there are limitations on the puzzle-solver, who doesn't just know all the answers but has to sort it out using only partial and often unreliable information.

Science fiction and fantasy, however, are genres where human limitations are usually greatly reduced or utterly eliminated through technology or magic. So they usually don't mix well with mystery: The wizard waves his wand or the robot taps into the database, and the problem is magically (and boringly) solved!

So limits have to be put on these things. In the Vorkosigan Saga (which is not strictly mystery, but there are occasional crimes as well as a great deal of espionage), there's a truth serum called fast-penta. But it doesn't work in everybody, some people are deathly allergic, and some people have been made deathly allergic specifically so they can't be interrogated.

Garrett handles this issue by having the magic be extremely rules-based and quite limited--it is, in the alternative history of Lord Darcy's world, scientific. Magic that would be really inconvenient in a mystery novel, like teleportation, simply doesn't exist. Instead, much of the magic revolves around the principle that things that were once whole wish to be whole again. So, for example, a forensic sorcerer (yes, that's a thing) could take blood from the scene of a crime and blood from a suspect, smear them on the opposite sides of a dish, and cast a spell. If it's the same blood, it will pool together, and you've placed your suspect at the scene.

It's very clever because it lets the investigators know some things (whose blood is that, what gun did that bullet come from) without knowing all things.

If it sounds like forensic sorcerers aren't much more useful than forensic scientists, well, they're not. And Garrett goes even further: Because magic is scientifically understood, actual science--chemistry, physics, biology--isn't understood very well at all, so technology has suffered greatly. While the books are set in the years Garrett wrote them, the technology mostly comes from the previous century. Far from magic being something that solves all problems, magic is something that has effectively created more limits.

For example, at one point Lord Darcy is secretly searching a room at night with the help of "a special device."

It was a fantastic device, a secret of His Majesty's Government. Powered by little zinc-copper couples that were the only known source of such magical power, they heated a steel wire to tremendously high temperature. The thin wire glowed white-hot, shedding a yellow-white light that was almost as bright as a gas-mantle lamp. The secret lay in the magical treatment of the steel filament. Under ordinary circumstances, the wire would burn up in a blue-white flash of fire. But, properly treated by a special spell, the wire was passivated and merely glowed with heat and light instead of burning. The hot wire was centered at the focus of a parabolic reflector, and merely by shoving forward a button with his thumb, Lord Darcy had at hand a light source equal to--and indeed far superior to--an ordinary dark lantern.

That's just so wonderful on so many levels. Not only is a plain old flashlight a source of awe (you merely have to shove forward a button with your thumb!), but it's repeatedly compared with things the reader isn't familiar with (various lamps and lanterns), because of course in Lord Darcy's world, that's what used. My most-favorite bit is the fact that they solve the major engineering puzzle of the incandescent bulb--how do you prevent the filament from just burning up?--by using magic. Of course. Because that's what they use to solve all their problems. It just doesn't work that well.

Seeking beta

You know, after writing Wednesday's post on what to do when you can't write, it occurred to me that I don't really have any beta tasks going on right now--production on Trust and Trang is wrapped up, and while I have some marketing plans (I'll be moving Trang to KDP Select at the beginning of December), it's nothing that's should be very time consuming.

I had two potential beta tasks in the back of my mind: changing the layout of the paper books and producing a Trang podcast. Changing the layout is going take a lot of time, involve doing a lot of something I do not enjoy, and the end result (a paperback that costs $9 more than the e-book instead of $10 more) doesn't strike me as something that will move the needle on sales. Doing a podcast costs a little money, will take a lot of time, and may or may not be something I enjoy, but it has the potential to reach a new audience.

Long story short: Yesterday I ordered a USB microphone. The Blue Snowball is less than $70 now!

THAT'S interesting

Well, Penguin and Random House are in merger talks!

I found out via PV (of course), but I think the most-detailed report on this is in The Guardian, which also has the advantage of being in English and not requiring registration. Apparently if the deal goes through, Random House's parent company, Bertlesmann, will have the majority stake.

It's interesting because the combined entity would control more than 25% of the UK book business, which would trigger an antitrust investigation. The Guardian quotes an optimist who notes that, since Amazon is eating everyone's lunch anyway, antitrust probably won't be a concern. But the Financial Times notes that, hm, Penguin is already in trouble with antitrust authorities in the United States....

Thinking, writing, thinking, writing

I'm not getting anything done today--after not sleeping well one night, I had a night of REALLY not sleeping well, courtesy of my decision to find out what the big deal is about Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte. My report: It tastes truly horrible (avoid unless you just love artificial flavors), it hurts your stomach, and the stupid barista won't give you decaf when you ask for it. I got some more sleep last night (after taking a Benadryl to counteract all the caffeine I drank so I could stay awake and look after my niece), but not shockingly I'm still a groggy mess today.

The irony is that I had been thinking of doing a post on what you can do on days you can't write, which was somewhat inspired by this post by Midge Raymond on the Creative Penn. That one's pretty vague, and honestly I don't get the PROMPT thing, but I liked the idea.

Obviously, there are the beta tasks--whatever marketing and production chores you may have on your to-do list. But if you're in the middle of writing, and all of a sudden circumstances force you to stop, there's other stuff to do that can help when you get back to it.

When I start out, things tend to be rough, and sometimes (as happened the day after I wrote that post, in fact), not being able to write for a day can be helpful, especially if you can spend the time thinking about what the problems are in what you've written and how you can fix them. Often when you're writing something and it's off, the emotion ("This isn't any good") registers, but that's so general that it's not useful and can even be discouraging. Actually taking the time to sort the problem through analytically (what, specifically, did I not like about that part) leads you to solutions (well, in that case, I should do X--and, hey, that solves another problem, too).

I also find the thinking-writing-thinking-writing process more useful than trying to plan out everything at the outset (although I definitely do plan), because as I mentioned in the comments, a lot of stuff doesn't become clear until you start writing it out. In that case, there were pacing problems, which are not going to show up in an outline. I also find that in an outline, I'm more likely to have a character do something just because the plot needs for it to be done. Once I start writing in a character's voice, I deepen my acquaintance with that character, and that helps me either to make sure the character's actions are organic to their personality, or to realize that the event needs to be triggered in some other way. The writing drastically improves the thinking, which is yet another reason why you do have to start putting words on a page if you want to get anywhere.

Don't get too relaxed

There's been a couple of things that caught my eye lately because they have been interpreted as suggesting that things in the publishing industry aren't going to keep changing.

Traditional-publishing consultant Mike Shatzkin (via PV) did a little victory dance over the news that Amazon's publishing ventures are being affected by the Barnes & Noble boycott. I'm sure it was very soothing to his clients to hear things like:

Big publishers are reporting that ebook sales are now approaching 30% of their revenue, which is about a 50% increase from what they said last year. That follows several years when ebook uptake increased by 100% or more.

The problem with this is that, as Tom Simon pointed out, a slowdown in uptake is inevitable as the share of the market that goes to e-books increases.

Let us assume, strictly for convenience, that the total size of the trad-published book market is fixed. This past year, ebooks represented 30 percent of their sales. That was a 50-percent increase over the previous year: therefore, in that year ebooks represented 20 percent. If that in turn was a 100-percent increase over the year before, then in that year ebooks would have been 10 percent.

Exponential growth curves (especially when expressed as percentages of a larger market) cannot continue forever.

The growth in e-books will slow or maybe stop and even reverse itself one day, but that doesn't mean much. For example, if we pretend that the book market is fixed (which it isn't really), and if one day e-books represent 100% of the book market, then the share of the market represented by e-books will grow no more, because it can't. But that lack of growth is not going to help companies built around the sales of paper books. Likewise, if e-books make up 95% of the total book market, and one year that they drop to 94%, that's still not going to be especially helpful.

Another idea that is getting tossed around is the notion that, just because everyone and their dog is buying a tablet computer, that won't increase e-book sales--instead e-book sales wiil remain flat. Why? Because current data indicates that people who buy tablet computers read fewer books than people who buy e-reading devices.

Isn't that shocking? People who buy dedicated e-reading devices read more books than people who buy all-purpose tablet computers! Next thing you'll tell me is that people who buy juicers drink more juice than people who buy all-purpose food processors!

The relevant question is, do people who buy tablet computers buy more or fewer e-books (not books in general) now than they did before they bought the tablet computer? What is going to happen to that number over time as these all-purpose device owners realize (as I did with my smartphone after a few months of ownership, depite the fact that I love to read) that, hey, you can read books on this thing, and, wow, it's beyond easy to buy a book with it?

In other words, things are still changing, and they are largely changing in a way that will increase the e-book market. And the data we're forced to use to measure that change still blows.

It's also possible to overestimate how much things are going to change and to have false certainty in that direction.

For example, let's look at Barnes & Noble. Definitely a troubled company, no argument there. But even if Barnes & Noble's e-book business collapses entirely, does that mean that all Barnes & Noble stores are going to disappear, like Borders did?

I don't know, and neither does anyone else. Obviously it's a possibility--it happened to Borders, after all. But there are others.

Let's say that the e-book business collapses entirely and Barnes & Noble is reduced to a company with 1. a chain of paper bookstores, and 2. a ton of debt.

Believe it or not, there are people who would see value in that. To recap the optimist argument from last January:

While the bookstores are likely to go into gradual decline as e-books grow, they can probably generate at least $300 million in annual earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization. A conservative multiple of three times values the bookstore business at $900 million.

The thing is, that while the sexy large-scale growth businesses dominate Wall Street, there are many, many businesses out there that just plug along, generating a relatively-predictable amount of revenue a year. And there are many private investors who are happy to have a piece of a revenue-generator like that, even if it is (slowly) declining.

Barnes & Noble may go bankrupt (which can actually be helpful because it usually wipes out a company's debt); it may go private. And despite all that, it may remain what it is today: The nation's largest chain of bookstores.

Or it may vanish off the face of the Earth. Who knows?

It's hard to plan for uncertainty, but it's at least possible to not be caught flat footed by it. That's why I think it's important to preserve nimbleness--to stay away from long-term contracts, to not lock yourself into (or out of) any particular position. These days, it's all up in the air, and you have to able to respond.

A technical note

If you wonder why, when you post a comment here, it sometimes doesn't show up for, like, an entire day, that's because it gets caught in the spam filter. I have no idea why--the person's having commented before and, you know, the comment CLEARLY NOT BEING SPAM does not seem to assuage the spam filter's suspicions. I get an alert when you comment, but the alert doesn't actually tell me, "Oh, and BTW, the spam filter's holding this one hostage, so come on over to your blog and let it go ASAP."

Do I smell opportunity? Or rotten fish?

Last night I met someone who is a big believer in the 99-cent price point. This person has had tremendous success with their own books, and feels the price point was a major factor in that success. (Don't worry--once the books started to take off, the person raised the price, thereby sparing me more cerebral trauma.)

Their further evidence in favor of that price point was the fact that they help writers with largish backlists put out e-books, and the 99-cent price point has been very helpful in driving sales for those people as well.

The person was very adamant about the virtues of that price point, which was odd to me, because 1. they were not John Locke, and 2. my experience with the 99-cent price point was much more negative. I had Trang at 99 cents for a fairly long time last year, and I don't think it sold a single copy during those months. And you have people like Elle Lothlorien who saw sales increase every time she raised her book's price. Enough writers have had similar experiences that there's even a whole theory that the 99-cent price point is actually harmful, tainting your work with the odor of off-price sushi.

But then I thought about how I respond to the 99-cent price point when books by an author I am interested in are offered at that price. I jump all over those suckers.

And that's what I think is happening here. The type of writer this person services has a backlist of several books. In other words, these are writers who have already done the work of building a fan base.

In that case, the process presumably goes something like this:

1. Author releases backlist as 99-cent e-books.

2. Author's fans go, "zOMG!! SQUEEE!!! That's a great price!" and BUY BUY BUY.

3. Author's books shoot up Amazon's charts.

4. Amazon's algorithms do the rest.

But I think for somebody new...eh. Then I think you do run the risk of smelling a little fishy. You'd need to get a lot of "this book is good"-type indicators before dropping things to 99 cents is going to move the needle.

Zzzzzz

I didn't sleep well last night, and I was trying to work on the novel today but...yeah. Not gonna happen. Hopefully I won't be a total zombie at the Meetup tonight.

Ironically, I feel like I've finally hit the point in Trials where I have a good idea of how things are going (how the book is going to get from point A to point B), so it's just a matter of filling out the scenes. It's that nice, calm, confident feeling that will doubtless go away soon, but it's nice while it lasts.

We're all tainted....

As I mentioned, I recently joined Angie's List, where you review contractors. My house is a fixer-upper (as in, within a couple of years, I will probably have replaced everything except the interior walls and the foundation), and there's a general contractor who I've used on many of these jobs over the years, because he rocks.

So of course my impulse upon Angie's List was to be sure to leave a review about him, telling people that he rocks.

The problem is, when I was sniffing over the reviews there, a place with one A-grade review smelled pretty funny to me. This contractor hasn't been reviewed before (it's kind of a side business for him), so by trying to do him a favor, I may be creating a situation where he looks really dodgy.

I hope not, and I don't think it will help him to not leave the review--at least this way the next person who reviews him won't look so much like a shill.

Apparently something similar has been happening now with Amazon, where fans are getting mistaken for sock puppets. It's the larger problem when fake reviews become the norm--the whole reviewing system starts to break down, and all of it gets viewed with suspicion. Or, worse, it doesn't get viewed at all, because it's all seen as a waste of time, and that marketing path is lost.

Of course, as the Amazon case shows, policing this sort of thing is pretty difficult--maybe the Yelp sting approach has more promise, although it's clearly labor intensive. But I'm glad this is at least on the radar as something to police, and I hope it puts an end to reviewers openly soliciting money in exchange for reviews, or at least to sites recommending reviewers who openly solicit money in exchange for reviews.

Living off windfalls

In Kris Rusch's series on why writers disappear, she mentions that many writers can't handle how differently money flows when you are your own boss than when you are an employee and you get a nice, predictable check every week or every two weeks.

She notes:

No business—not one—earns the same amount of money month in and month out. Employees do, because the employer guarantees the paycheck. But if the employer can no longer meet payroll, the employees get laid off.

The employees never see the business’s uneven income (unless that employee works in accounting), and so rarely understand how normal this is. Most people, in fact, have no idea how precarious their regular jobs really are. (Although, after this recession, more people know now than before.)

When people who’ve had steady work move to freelancing, they expect the freelance income to behave the way that their paychecks did. They expect regular and on-time.

Because indie writers get regular checks from their distributors, this problem gets compounded. The checks feel like a salary, even though they aren’t.

And so when the money decreases, or dries up, it feels personal. It hurts. What has the writer done wrong?

Nothing, except fail to plan for normal business ups and downs.

"Normal business up and downs" are why when credit dries up, it damages the entire economy--many businesses have a line of credit and borrow money to meet their payroll during the slow season in the normal course of events. It's not something they do only when business is bad; it's something they do every single year--because they don't make money in the summer, or they don't make money until the summer, or whatever. That's how their industry is, so they have developed methods to cope with it.

Most individuals haven't developed these coping skills, though. Most people are trained to expect a regular paycheck, and they have developed spending habits that align with that regular income. The way life usually operates for people with regular jobs is:

Regular money in => regular money out

Monthly rent or mortgage payments. Monthly car payments. Monthly bills. Every month, like clockwork, your expenses are X many dollars, and that number does not vary by much.

It makes total sense, because your income is Y many dollars a month, and that number doesn't vary much, either. Maybe you even get a little silly about it, leasing fancy cars and always making payments on everything because those things don't make the X number bigger than the Y number.

But what if Y is completely unpredictable? What if some months it's a HUGE number, and other months it's teeny-tiny? Well, then, you have to take a different approach.

(Actually, you don't have to--you can do what you want. I'm not your financial advisor, and I know SFA about your specific financial situation. In other words, if you go broke following my advice, that's on you--consider this my disclaimer.)

The strategy I used when I was a freelancer could be described as:

Erratic money in => strategic money out

What do I mean by strategic money? Well, I knew that my monthly income was going to go waaaaaay up and waaaaaaay down. So the goal was to get my essential expenses--the expenses that I absolutely had to pay every single month like clockwork or there would be some horrible disaster--down as low as I could.

Of course we're all human, and the temptation with a windfall (especially after a lean period) is to spend it on fun stuff. What I did was to allow myself one indulgence--something I really, really had been craving and feeling sorry for myself over. That usually took the edge off (especially if I wound up never using it, or using it and realizing that it kind of sucked). It couldn't be outrageously expensive, or something that would lead to greater monthly expenses (so, nothing I had to go into debt for). I also tried to buy it used if I could--pawn shops are excellent places to get jewelry, by the way, and there's a whole cautionary tale to be had by seeing really fancy crap that had to be hocked for 10% of what people paid for it.

The rest was spent strategically. Spending strategically meant that I took the windfall from the months with a big income and invested it into things that would bring down my essential monthly expenses. A good example of this is paying off a car--that's something that's usually pretty doable, and getting rid of that car payment is a big help for most people. Paying off debt in general also falls into this category--not only do you wipe out the payments, but then you have that line of credit available later if times get tough.

Paying stuff off isn't the only thing, though--you want to start living like some combination of a left-wing econut and a right-wing survivalist. Forget the arguments against buying in bulk--those apply to people with regular incomes. When you're flush, stock up on nonperishable essentials. Also, spend the extra money on energy-efficient appliances and reusable household goods--they will bring down your monthly expenses.

I realize that normal people with regular incomes sit around with their calculators and try to figure out when exactly these things will pay for themselves. That math is far less important to someone with an unpredictable income. If your income is erratic, getting your essential expenses down has value in and of itself, because it means that when you have very little income coming in, you'll still be able to pay your bills and live in a decent sort of way.

The sticky wicket here is always housing. In the vast majority of cases, the windfall isn't going to be anywhere large enough to pay for a place outright, and the way mortgages are usually set up, you have to make a minimum monthly payment even if you've just paid off a large chunk of the thing. If you rent, you could pay a year's worth of rent to your landlord, but I wouldn't recommend it because in my experience most landlords will happily pocket 12 months' of rent, and then come back to you in three month's time wondering why you stopped paying your rent. (No, I've never had an intelligent landlord--and I know people who tried paying two or three months' rent at a time, and their landlords were too dumb or too dishonest to cope with it.) So I would just go with having a special account dedicated to housing. Try not to raid it because you simply must go to Tahiti this year.

Yet another thing to do is to take your erratic money and turn it into predictable money. If you know that once a year you need a bunch of money to [pay taxes, buy Christmas presents, whatever] then things like certificates of deposits can be very helpful. I know the rates are very low nowadays, but you can use a CD to put money you'll need in the future someplace where you can't get at it (at least not easily) until you have to have it.

Now, if you have a really serious windfall, you can actually turn that into regular monthly or quarterly income--that's called "income investing" or "investing for income." I'm not going to get into the specifics, because different strategies work for different people. But when you see some entertainer make $20 million one year and file for bankruptcy the next, a failure to invest for income is usually the culprit. 

Reviews, competition, and the whole soap opera....

Real life has come back to bite me in the ass--the roof is leaking again, in more than one place, so I'm bringing in the actual professionals. Ugh. This house is such an attention whore.

Finding a roofer is not something I usually do (it's a metal roof! Those things are supposed to last forever!), and I have other large house projects coming up that are beyond the ken of my regular contractor, so I signed on to Angie's List and was immediately faced with the are-these-reviews-bullshit-or-not? question. (Lessee, a bunch of A-grade reviews all posted at the same time, all by people who have only one review on the site. Hm....) So, I was happy to see that Yelp is actually conducting stings on companies that pay reviewers. That's nice to see.

There have been a couple of interesting stories on all the competition that's happening in the book industry now. Jaye Manus notes that competing standards make life hard for DIYers. I agree, which is why I don't plan to prettify my books past the chapter ornaments--every complication has the potential to...complicate things. I do aim for making the book look like it doesn't have mistakes in it, but I don't sweat having everything be a particular size or proportion, because that's never going to happen, and there's nothing I can do (or should do) about it.

The other story is a Wall Street Journal piece on how Amazon's imprints haven't been a slam dunk, at least not when it comes to paper sales. E-book sales may be doing fine, but of course there's no data, so.... Yeah. We don't actually know that Amazon's imprints haven't been a slam dunk, or maybe they've been a complete fiasco--it's a total mystery at this point, and unless Amazon starts breaking out its revenues in greater detail than they do now, it's going to stay one. What we do know is that Barnes & Noble's boycott is hurting paper sales, that other retailers are reluctant to carry Kindles, and that author Timothy Ferriss is plotting his revenge. Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of As the Publishing Industry Turns!

Composite heroes

HOWARD MOON: The thing is, we clicked, Vince, we just clicked, you know. And that is something you can't fight, you know--chemistry. Yeah, I've got the dark, fractured, broken, paranoid sort of side to me, and he had the light, sunny, simpleton feel. Together we made sort of one whole person--together.

VINCE NOIR: But that's our angle!

                                                         --The Mighty Boosh, "The Power of the Crimp"

It's notoriously hard to analyze comedy--or rather, it's supposed to be, but I feel that's more because the people who analyze literature tend to be pretty humorless and do a really horrible job with comedy, assuming they even recognize something as comedy to begin with. In fact, one thing that drove me crazy when Seinfeld was on the air was the assumption made by just about every cultural commentator out there that the characters were created and envisioned as serious role models--you know, of course the people who wrote the show thought the world would be a better place if everyone acted like George Costanza, and of course everyone was watching the show not to laugh at George's foibles but because they wanted to be just like him.

I guess if your job is to come up with reasons to bemoan The State of Things Today, that sort of "analysis" makes sense, but not otherwise. Another aspect of comedy that is often analyzed in a really dumb way is the prevalence of buddy comedies--instead of one protagonist, you have two (or many more). The "reasons" critics often give for this is 1. everybody is secretly homosexual, or 2. men hate women. (You're wondering about female buddies in comedies? Lucy & Ethel? Bridesmaids? The Bennett sisters? Oh, silly you, those don't exist.)

When I was an undergraduate, I read the comedic novel Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding. The full title of the book is The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and of his Friend Mr. Abraham Adams--so, you know, it's a buddy comedy, and for me, it was the first buddy comedy I ever tried to analyze.

Joseph Andrews is a spoof of Pamela, with the hilarious premise being, Here is a young man trying to defend his chastity! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OK, fine, that's hilarious mostly by 18th-century standards. But despite the unpromising premise, Joseph Andrews turned out to be a surprisingly worthwhile novel about a young man trying to navigate the world of sexuality--think of something along the lines of American Pie or Another Gay Movie, but far less explicit.

Like the characters in those movies, Joseph Andrews is trying to channel his sexual impulses in a functional way--he's very much in love, and he does not want to sabotage that relationship. He is, however, a young man with a full complement of young-man hormones (and apparently quite the looker), so he is faced with temptations on all sides.

Helping him navigate those temptations is his buddy and parson, Abraham Adams. Whenever Joseph starts to stray, Abraham pulls him back into line. Abraham isn't perfect either--he's super-gullible. If it weren't for Joseph riding herd on him, the parson would give away his life savings to the first sharpie with a sob story he met.

You see how that works for a comedy? You're never faced with Mr. Super Perfect Guy or some boring allegorical character. ("I am Chastity!" "Hello, Chastity! I am Charity!" "Hello Charity! Let us trod upon Sinner and walk up to Heaven upon the Path of Righteousness!") In fact, you're faced with quirky people who do wacky things that you would never do.

On the other hand, you're also not faced with a situation that turns so horribly serious that it is no longer funny--Joseph doesn't destroy his hoped-for marriage, Abraham doesn't starve to death after losing all his money to a con artist. It's not a classical tragedy, where a character's flaws lead to his destruction. In a buddy comedy, a character's flaws make him go awry for a little bit, but eventually his buddy gets him back on track.

I like this

Dean Wesley Smith notes that if a book sells well, perhaps that's because it's a good book.

Of course, we've all seen books we don't much care for sell well, but that's just further evidence that readers can't agree on what constitutes a good book. I would argue that once a book reaches a certain level of sales, there are people reading it just to see what all the fuss is about. But getting it to that level of sales is a group of readers who really, really like that book.

That's also why I think it's important to have a healthy dose of skepticism about one-size-fits-all marketing programs. Books are not all the same.

Struggling to respect the process

(I couldn't write today because of a family obligation, so instead I got angsty!)

Kris Rusch is doing a series on why writers disappear, and one of the things that comes up in a variety of forms is that many people, once they start writing, discover that they just don't like it much. They don't like the isolation, maybe, or they just would rather be doing something else.

I think in a way that's one of the dirty little secrets of writing (or, I suppose, any art form)--being able to do it all the time is privilege that generally must be earned, but sometimes once you reach a place of privilege, you realize that it's not where you want to be. In addition, you can be very good at something and still not enjoy it much. (Exhibit A of this phenomenon is probably Douglas Adams, but I'm sure there are others.)

For the most part, I enjoy writing, and sometimes I enjoy it very much. Other times it kind of drives me crazy. In particular, my process is something that can annoy the hell out of me. I throw out a shitty first draft, and then I beat it into something approaching a decent story.

When you're cranking out a newspaper story on deadline, that's actually a very efficient process--spit it out, revise, and you're done. When you're writing a 100,000-word novel...oh my God. I was a famously fast writer when I was a reporter. As a novelist...not so much. Most recently with Trust I cranked out a 100K-word draft, and then I had to cut probably about 30K words and add in about 40K more. That took time.

So it's bothering me that Trials isn't coming out perfect the first go around. Of course it's not going to--intellectually I know that. But the irrational part of me would just love to be able to spit out a perfect third novel in, oh, about a month, and give it to all the people who have expressed a desire to read the next book. (I guess this is the problem with starting to actually find an audience--suddenly there are people out there who have expectations. People you could disappoint. Yoikes. Before nobody cared!)

But it's just something I have to go through--it can't be avoided, and attempts at aversion will just make the whole thing take longer. In addition, it's not like the first draft of Trust was a bust--one of the things I like about that book was how the A plot and B plot kind of merge at the end and help resolve each other. That was never in my outline--that was something that developed as I was writing the first draft.

Right now I feel like Trials has a lot of odds 'n' ends that aren't jelling into anything, or they're intended to become something in the fourth and last book, but I really don't want the third book to be one of those padder novels whose only purpose is to extend the series by another book (coughcough Order of the Phoenix coughcough), so I need to figure out what these things are going to actually do in the course of this novel.

And that's frustrating, but on the other hand, that's how it always is at this stage. That's my process--I throw a bunch of stuff at the wall, and later on, I see what sticks. It always works out eventually.